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Backofurhand13
10 March 2006 @ 01:15 am

*SIGH* 
I needed that deep breath. For more reasons than one.
Here ya go:

TODAY was insanly insane. I laughed a lot, especially in math, but I don't know how or why. 
*** Aaron and I are fine, really. It's the other people that aren't fine around us and, well, people take their tolls on others. I just have one request and that's....please, and I say please because I don't want an arguement! This NEEDS to be said, PLLLLLEase mind your own business.
*** In math class I found that the grade that I was expecting to go UP went DOWN. I failed a quiz, I knew God would punish me for cheating somehow....(I didn't actually cheat, I used someone else's calculator. A NO NO to Mr. Harber)
*** I got a check on my sketchbook. Aaron? First block sketch and it got a check plus! :) I try to be happy for him.....(While I grind my teeth while mumbling things that no one hears....expect ME)
*** I guess I have no more complaints about today....I threw a spit wad at Tyler Shannon in math today and it hit him in the eye. He said ouch and grabbed the damp piece of paper and said, "EWWW!" while throwing it back down. Ha.

TOMORROW is the Winter Jam. NEWSBOYS ARE GOING TO BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!! I'm REALLY excited to go!! Allison, my mom and I are going. Aaron's going with his cousin and his aunt, I don't know if we'll see each other there or not, but it would be nice if we could, ya know, since we're dating and all.....

MONDAY is my birthday. I'll be 17. I'm ready. Aaron's present for me took up the entire backseat of the trailblazer. Scary? Indeed. I think I'm getting "Walk The Line" from my mom, that'd be cool, but if I don't....no complaints. Aaron's coming over on that day. My grandma's coming to get us so I can sho[ for my birthday present and then we're going to Logan's! YUMMM! My family will be there.

THE DAY BEFORE THAT I'm playing guitar in front of my church again. After that, my mom and everyone's going to the Speak Easy and we having the breakfast buffet that UNBELIEVIBALY GOOD!!!! Then around 4:00, we're having cake and ice cream for my birthday!!! YAY! 

So, I'm excited.....Yet, today was quite weeeeiirdidieiiid.

<>< Shan
Like me.

 
 
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: This Way ~Jewel~
 
 
Backofurhand13
08 March 2006 @ 10:18 pm
maybe words I'll send.
Or not.
Are these words going to get to you?
They're hott.

I love a long talk with a friend.
Not when it suddenly ends.
But maybe these words will be sent,
maybe not.

Would you even understand if I sent this to you?
Would you know why I was upset or let me stay with this flu?
Maybe these words will be sent to you, maybe not.
It's up to the temperature, but I'd say they're getting hott.

I know the right thing to do.
I'm finding hard to do it with glue.
The pieces of thoughts get stuck together
and what seems like coming out is taking forever.

Maybe these words will be sent, maybe I'll change my mind.
Either way, if you ask me, I'll just be dishonest and say, "I'm Fine"
 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Where's the Love ~Black Eyed Peas~
 
 
Backofurhand13
04 March 2006 @ 05:09 am
Here's your day sweet girl,
give this smile a whirl.
It's one you haven't seen in a while,
But trust me, it will feel good to smile.

Here's the money you need,
put gas in, but don't speed.
That car will take you places,
but it won't open you to new faces.

Here's your monkey zookeeper,
Make him stay awake, he's a sleeper.
That one's been here since the dawn of this zoo
Maybe if you get to know him, you'll realize he's like you too.

Here's your memories,
the one's you miss.
Don't look back and cry,
look back and simply reminicse.

Here's your socks,
pack them on your trip.
Before you leave the hotel, 
give the maids a tip.

Here's your life,
live it well.
But think of what you do,
I don't want to see you go to Hell.

Here's your smile,
take it for a while.
I'm sorry I took it away for some time
I've realized I stole something that wasn't mine.

<>< Shan
No one even cares anyways...
 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: I Get Around ~Beach Boys~
 
 
Backofurhand13

On CHRIST the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.
All other ground is 
SINKING
SAAAAND!

Allright, Allison, I love you.

Am I ok? Ask the independent side of me....oh wait, that side of me DOESN'T IGSIST!!!!

<>< Shan
In him.

 
 
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: I'M SENSITIVE ~Jewel~
 
 
Backofurhand13

Kids play with your guns,
Play with this violence
Go play in the traffic
We’ll come when we hear silence

Here’s your allowance
Shake of finger says, “Spend well”
They hear go and buy your drugs
Dig that hole to Hell
You’ll see your life-made when you get there
Pulling out his hair
“Mom, why didn’t you help me? I could be alive! You’re a piece of-“

She told you before, don’t slam that bedroom door
She told you just once, there is no need to throw a punch
So why, why, cry, when you, you, die

Knock at the bedroom door
Slam when he doesn’t hear
“What mom?” he yells as he hides his beer
“Turn that sh- down I can’t even think”
he cranks the music up and pulls back another drink
Swing of the bedroom door, there’s Hell all over the floor
“What in Hel-s name are you doing in here?” his mom yells as he hides the beer
The girl scrambles into a white sheet, bruises on her face, she’s been beat
“Drunk, Pot, Sex what’s next?” she yells as she throws dirty clothes at his chest
“Get up move out” and the girl starts to pout.

She told you before, don’t bring girlfriends home
She told you before, keep your head up, don’t rome


Kids play with your guns,
Play with this violence
Go play in the traffic
We’ll come when we hear silence

If that’s the way it starts it’s the way it ends
No life earned, no made friends
Let’s do this right, let’s start tonight

Cross your hands, let’s pray
His mom whispers as she turns her face
Hiding those tears she’s held back all those years
As they sit in Heaven and look at there twisted life
No fear. 


<>< Shannon

 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Cookie Monster on Seaseme Street
 
 
 
Backofurhand13
17 February 2006 @ 10:45 pm

You spend so much time, confused of what you should do that it takes your eyes off him and what he really wants of you

Temptation gets the best
Christians the most
because the Devil sees inside us
that holy, almighty ghost

yet we're weak to these urges

we give in when we're set up
we're weak to the Devil's whispers
when we should be drinking from Gods cup

Lord, where is my clean water?
Did I lose it that night?
Where is the fresh spirit?
Have I lost the fight?

You look down on me and smile
or so everyone says
For all I know you may look down and
scream while I'm in bed

Scream, "you idiot!"
What are you doing now?
Scream, "You naive fool!"
Do I have to ask twice for you to bow?

Yes, Lord, I guess that's me,
all I can do is get down on my knees
But I can't even do that
because on Sunday mornings I have no courage
I don't have the courage to get in front and kneel
I don't even know what I feel, is this all real?

you look down on me and smile,
so they all say
but I feel that I should give you
more time of the day....
is that okay?
"Hey.....
Is that okay?......."


<>< Shan

confused of what you should do
it takes your eyes off him
and what he really wants of you.
 
 
Backofurhand13
17 February 2006 @ 10:41 pm

You spend so much time

Temptation gets the best
Christians the most
because the Devil sees inside us
that holy, almighty ghost

yet we're weak to these urges

we give in when we're set up
we're weak to the Devil's whispers
when we should be drinking from Gods cup

Lord, where is my clean water?
Did I lose it that night?
Where is the fresh spirit?
Have I lost the fight?

You look down on me and smile
or so everyone says
For all I know you may look down and
scream while I'm in bed

Scream, "you idiot!"
What are you doing now?
Scream, "You naive fool!"
Do I have to ask twice for you to bow?

Yes, Lord, I guess that's me,
all I can do is get down on my knees
But I can't even do that
because on Sunday mornings I have no courage
I don't have the courage to get in front and kneel
I don't even know what I feel, is this all real?

you look down on me and smile,
so they all say
but I feel that I should give you
more time of the day....
is that okay?
"Hey.....
Is that okay?......."


<>< Shan

confused of what you should do
it takes your eyes off him
and what he really wants of you.
 
 
Backofurhand13
15 February 2006 @ 12:45 am

The last few weeks have been very eventful. Very.

Friday: Bowling with Aaron, Alex, Pam, Ryan and Brittany. That was a LOAD OF FUN!
Saturday: Allison came over to sled. Got ready for Snowcoming. Ha, fun night!
Sunday: Kinda boring.
Yeah, yeah....
Today: GRRREAT! I LOVE the present I made for Aaron, it's the greatest thing ever.

How have the last few weeks been for you, sweetheart?

Hopefully good.

www.myspace.com/savethatsoul

^^That's why I haven't been into updating this thing^^

10 MONTHS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

<>< Shan
It's just the way you are. I know.

 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: You've got a way ~Shania Twain~
 
 
Backofurhand13
20 January 2006 @ 08:02 pm
1) Was 2005 a good year for you? Yes! Very eventful.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year? I'd have to say April 15th

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? Getting depressed like I do

4) Where were you when 2005 began? Steph's house

5) Who were you with? Steph and her family

6) Where were you when 2005 ended? Crazy night. I was at home with my VERY SICK mother and Aaron

7) Who were you with when 2005 ended? Mom and Aaron

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? I didn't have one.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? Well yeah, I'm on a diet.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005? TO SAY THE LEAST.

11) If yes, with who? Aaron

12) If yes, do they know? Oh yeah!

13) Are you still in love with them? :) yes.

14) You regret it? PSHHHH!

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005? no

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005? yes...that's always fun

17) Who are your favorite new friends? I loooove Alicia! She's so funny. Steph Tucker is awesome too. And Jamie and Leah...I can't pick one.

18) What was your favorite month of 2005? April

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005? nooooo, darn it. :)

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005? A lot!

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? No

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year? Of course I'd miss SOMEONE along the way...

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? I really like 13 Going On 30....but it's still Grease

24) What was your favorite song from 2005? You're asking a girl who's known for saying, "I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I can't pick one.

25) What was your favorite album from 2005? Too many.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005? a lot

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005? Nope, Newsboys 2004.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? Who needs that

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005? no

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005? Sleep WITH or beside? IDK???

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? Yes.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? Wow, I don't know, that's hard

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? We all do sometime maybe without even realizing

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? of course.

36) How much money did you spend in 2005? Lots.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005? Gosh, so many! Just kidding! I don't know....Learning guitar so well.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? I have a new one for 2006 that JUST happened today! Oh horribleness!

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be? I wouldn't say dumb stuff that I say without realizing so much!!!!!!!!!!

40) What are your plans for 2006? To live for him!


<>< Shan
I know it's late for this. But better late than never, right?
 
 
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: NADA
 
 
Backofurhand13
20 January 2006 @ 07:54 pm
YO!  
It's been an extremely long time since I've updated. My computer contracted a VIRUS and Three Geeks said, "It's one sick puppy."
That was a week and a half ago...and before that I wasn't into updating for the fact that my computer bugged me. Pop up adds appeared when you weren't even online. So you can imagine what it would be like if you dared to actually GET online....madness, yes, pure madness.

*SIGH* Now that that's said....

Since Christmas day (My last entry) things have been awesome. Of course I had a weird growth on my back, puffy eyes the first week back at school and streped this week.....who doesn't get those three things? In one month?

Aaron and I are WONDERFUL! Better than we were before....We just get closer every single day. We're seriousally BEST FRIENDS....That's also our song.
He got me a promise ring for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

School is fine. New classes Monday, should be interesting.

KEEP THE FAITH. Even if you don't have faith and you're reading this....Maybe you don't believe in God or church honestly isn't your thing...well, I believe that we ALL have a little ounce of faith in us...Just take the time to look into yourself and find that faith. Please. I challenge you.

<>< Shan
You're More.
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: NOTHING